Feelings vs. Facts: How to Tell the Difference When Anxiety Is Loud
Learn how to distinguish feelings from facts when anxiety feels overwhelming.
When Anxiety Speaks, It’s Loud
Anxiety has a way of making our emotions feel like undeniable truths. A racing heart, spiraling thoughts, or a knot in your stomach can turn small uncertainties into imagined catastrophes. And so easily we can get to that point in a matter of mere seconds! If you live with anxiety, depression, or navigate life as a neurodiverse individual, it can be especially challenging to tell what is real and what simply feels real. Yet learning this distinction is a crucial part of managing overwhelming emotions and reclaiming your sense of influence.
Why Feelings and Facts Get Mixed Up
Our brains are wired to detect threats. When anxiety spikes, the nervous system sends signals of danger (just like it would if a bear suddenly popped up out of nowhere and started chasing you)—even when no danger exists. This can make feelings feel like facts. You might feel like everyone is judging you and assume it must be true. You might sense that something terrible is about to happen and anticipate doom. You might feel incompetent and then label yourself a failure.
These emotional reactions are real and valid, AND they are not necessarily accurate reflections of reality. The challenge is recognizing that what you feel isn’t always what is actually factually happening.
How to Distinguish Feelings from Facts
The first step is learning to pause and notice your emotions. When anxiety is loud, take a moment to ask yourself, “Am I reacting to a feeling, or is this an observable fact?” Naming the emotion—like saying, “I feel anxious about failing this presentation”—creates a small gap between you and the anxiety, giving your rational mind a chance to step in.
Next, gather evidence. Anxiety thrives on assumptions and “what if” scenarios, so ask yourself what actual facts support your fear and what evidence contradicts it. For example, if you feel like no one likes you, take stock of the friends who text, invite you out, or offer support. Seeing tangible evidence can often challenge the negative narrative anxiety wants you to believe.
Another helpful approach is to explore your thoughts from multiple angles. Consider ways in which the feeling might be true, and then intentionally explore ways it might not be true. This balance between emotional intensity and objective observation helps prevent your mind from being swept away by fear.
Practicing gentle curiosity is also powerful. Instead of arguing with anxious thoughts, ask yourself why you feel this way and explore it with compassion. Journaling can support this process, allowing you to track patterns and better understand what triggers intense emotions over time. Verbally processing out loud can also be helpful with this.
Finally, don’t underestimate the value of professional support. When feelings are overwhelming, working with a therapist can provide guidance in identifying cognitive distortions, developing tailored emotion regulation strategies, and building a toolbox for managing anxiety during high-stress moments.
Why This Distinction Matters
For those navigating anxiety, depression, or neurodivergence, confusing feelings with facts can amplify distress, interfere with decision-making, and create cycles of negative thinking. Learning to separate feelings from facts isn’t about dismissing your emotions—it’s about creating clarity and choice in how you respond. By recognizing that your feelings are signals rather than verdicts, you can approach life with greater calm, awareness, and confidence.
When anxiety is loud, remember: your feelings are real, but they aren’t always factual. Checking your facts doesn’t minimize your emotions—it empowers you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively, giving you the tools to navigate even your most intense emotional experiences with clarity and compassion.
How do you think the knowledge of this fact vs feeling differentiation could help you in the next situation that might arise for you?
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only. Engaging with this account is not therapy and nothing stated here should be taken as a replacement for therapy. Content here may or may not apply to you. If you are interested in learning more about therapy sessions with Emily, please reach out via email: emily@emilylewis.co or by phone: 682-334-3796.
